The craving comes. I try to resist. The craving becomes stronger. I try to distract myself. The craving feels overwhelming. I give in . . . and write.
When I began this blogging journey this past weekend, I had no idea where it would take me. I have been pondering this endeavor for over a year, strategically trying to plan out how I should best structure a blog, what its purpose would be, who the intended audience would be, where and when I should write . . . all the typical journalism questions that a perfectionist tends to consider. Then, on almost a whim, I simply began writing. Well, nearly a whim. A grad school assignment pointed me in that general direction, and I took the bait. Now, I’m caught. Hook. Line. And. Sinker.
I’m humbled to admit that my grandiose plans for a blog don’t even resemble reality. My writing is disorganized and haphazard at best. I can’t even decide what categories I want to use. However, for right now, this blog is for me. It is a reminder of what God is doing in my life, what He has already done. It is a memoir of sorts, a written testimony to the extraordinary blessings in my life and to the trail of tears that led me to where I am today. Hopefully, this blog is not the “Lauren” story, but rather the God story. It is a memento to the incredible family, friends, and mentors that surround me and help me press forward to the higher calling of Christ. So, while there is nothing amazing about my reflections, there are quite a few cathartic aspects to my ramblings. When I begin a post filled with angst, God has been faithful to infuse His Peace into my heart by the time I click “Publish.” I am hooked. I love to write. I love to sip coffee while I write. I even like gulping coffee like the addict that I have become while writing (Don’t worry . . . organic decaf). One day, organization will result from the chaos of my meandering thoughts. Until then, feel free to gulp coffee right along with me.
Let me leave you with the words of one of my current favorite worship songs, “Never Once,” by Matt Redman: