I’ve had it.
For those concerned that this blog has turned into nothing but gratitude fluff and cotton candy sweetness, you will rejoice to hear that tonight’s reflections were first steeped in sarcasm. A lot of sarcasm.
The gingersnap and vanilla ice cream BEFORE dinner didn’t even do much more than increase my awareness of all the straws that broke the proverbial camel’s back today.
Where should I begin? Let me see . . .
“Do you feel it is necessary to HANG from and perform pull-ups on the air conditioning unit before the first bell? Oh, you do? Then, let’s just take a little jaunt down to the principal’s office. I’m not dealing with you today!”
“You better not be falling asleep in my class! Do I look and sound as boring as your language arts’ video that you slept through already this morning? Don’t answer that.”
“Why do I see the bottoms of your shoes flying over the lunch table, as your stomach wipes off all crumbs and your head prepares to do a nosedive into your friend’s lap? Be mature! You can spend the rest of the year in detention if you don’t grow up and stop flirting! I’m done! This is your last warning!”
[Victim student] “Mrs. Hasz, he threw an orange at me. It hit me right here in the throat.” [Offender] “I was tossing it to my friend and missed.” [Biased defender] “They throw stuff at us all the time!” [Mrs. Hasz] “Really, really, does it look like I care?”
[Student] “I hurt all over, but it’s okay.” [Mrs. Hasz] “What happened?” [Student] “Two girls beat me up during recess.” (This student appeared right as rain, but the situation was later dealt with by the principal after I dutifully reported it.)
[Conversation between another teacher and myself] “I think our online grade book is hormonal.”
[Sister’s Status] “Don’t tell your problems to people: 80% don’t care; and the other 20% are glad you have them.”
Well, Everybody Loves Raymond is playing in the background – a sure sign that I need a heavy dose of comedic relief. Perusing Facebook, I’ve found the quote for the day thanks to a dear friend’s status:
“Lord, You meet me in the madness, so I’ll learn to love these days.” – Mandisa