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For over three years I doubted whether or not I would ever carry a baby. Sure, I clung desperately to God’s promises and to moments of faith. I put down deep roots into dreams that I believed were from Heaven. Still, I doubted. I cried. I experienced incredibly painful infertility treatments and miscarriages.

Now, I’m pregnant. Half-way through. Abby is about 4 weeks away from viability when she could exist outside of my womb with the help of NICU.

Unbelievable. 

Miraculous.

I’m a mama.

During one of my middle-of-the-night insomnia episodes this weekend, I placed my hand near my hip and felt Abby kick. Not once. But four or five times. Strong, insistent reminders of her precious life. It made the late night peanut butter and toast completely worth it.

I.Felt.Her.Move. 

Strong.

Steady.

Today, I bought the outfit that I imagine taking her home from the hospital wearing. A white and pink flowered onesie with a matching hat. It’s teeny tiny. Made for babies under 7 pounds. Just a wee thing. My heart beats harder. Faster. More deeply in love every day. IMG_1341

Anyway, Abigail is now the size of a banana and about 10 inches long from head to heel, weighing about 10.5 ounces! According to my phone’s Pregnancy app, Abby is now developing more regular sleep patterns, which may be noticeable as most babies get more active when mom tries to go to sleep (definitely true of my daughter). Her tastebuds are working, and she is gulping down several ounces of amniotic fluid a day (according to TheBump).

How far along? 20 weeks, 2 days

Total weight gain: 2-3 pounds

Maternity clothes? I live in leggings as much as possible when I’m not in pajamas. Abby finally popped out a bit and has given my hips some relief. My two favorite sweaters were actually my grandfather’s. I disappear into their cozy depths quite often during this week of sub-zero temperatures!

Stretch marks?  No

Sleep: Not sleeping well at all. I toss and turn a lot.

Best moments of the past week: (1) Feeling pregnant after noticing how much my belly had popped out. (2) Falling more and more in love with my husband, as I listen to him excitedly talk about Abby’s arrival.

Miss Anything? Feeling rested. My family. They are missing my pregnancy, and I’m missing them!

Movement: I can now tell the difference between kicks/jabs and somersaults. On Saturday night, I felt her kick with my hand! Yay! 

Food cravings:  No, but hungry all of the time. Eggs are my favorite breakfast food. I eat a lot of toast and peanut butter, as well as soup. I turned a left-over ham bone into the most delicious split pea soup that I ate all week at school. My favorite Starbucks drink is Joy tea with 2-3 inches of steamed soy milk on top. (This is about the only soy product that I allow myself to eat due to its questionable affect on embryo development.)

Anything making you queasy or sick: Coffee. Body odor.

Labor Signs:  No, thank you.

Symptoms:  Indigestion and constipation. Insomnia. Nesting instincts are starting to set in, but they don’t have much of an outlet yet, as we still don’t know exactly where we are putting a nursery. I can’t wait to finalize some of those plans and to begin decorating!

Belly Button in or out?  In.

Looking forward to:  Two nights away with David in Keystone to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary! I negotiated an amazing deal for $55 a night at a resort condo, complete with a full kitchen, swimming pool, and gym.

Next appointment:  December 17 at Avista Women’s Care for my normal check-up and then December 19 at the specialist’s office for a second Level II ultrasound to check baby’s growth, placenta placement, and heart. This will be my substitute “anatomy scan” that most women have between week 20 and 22 of pregnancy. IMG_1350IMG_1349

If you missed other pregnancy updates…

7 Weeks Pregnant

8 Weeks Pregnant

9 Weeks Pregnant

10 and 11 Weeks Pregnant

12 Weeks Pregnant

13 Weeks Pregnant

14 Weeks Pregnant

15 Weeks Pregnant

16 Weeks Pregnant

17 Weeks Pregnant

18 Weeks Pregnant 

19 Weeks Pregnant

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