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IMG_4467Dear Abby,

You are becoming a little girl with opinions, preferences, and a vocabulary to vehemently voice them. You are becoming tender and caring, crying when other children get hurt and “feeding” your Bear food from your own plate. You are just occasionally slowing down enough to cuddle. You are more often than not running to the next adventure.

You are 1.5 years old. Certainly not a baby any more. You are dramatic and inquisitive. You cook and clean with me, creating bigger messes than I could have even imagined. You melt my heart and capture my attention with deep dimples, a belly laugh, and eyes that take in everything.

Especially bunny rabbits.

You can spot a bunny rabbit from neighbors’ yards away and excitedly thump your little leg in imitation of the fluffy creature that you will undoubtedly scare away with your enthusiasm. You delight in the details. The owl image on the salad container. The sprinkles on your healthy muffins (making them only slightly less healthy. LOL.). The bows in your hair. The bows on your boots. The bow on your Bear. The bow you clip onto your giraffe’s ear.

18 months has brought with it two ruptured ear drums, a set of molars, all four impending canine teeth, a horrible sleep regression, tantrums, timeout, and terrifying independence. Yet, I’ve never loved a stage of your development more. You find me funny, and I love your developing sense of humor. I find you exhausting, and you greet me at 2 am with a conversation about mouths and noses. You gravitate toward anything with bubbles – sparking water, foamy soap, iPad tactile game – and proudly ask for “more bubbles.” IMG_4468

I love you. I love making messes with you and cleaning them up with you. I loved our first “coffee” date of steamed milk in honor of your 18-month milestone. I love that you have begun praying for babies, and making me wonder when we will be ready to begin the IVF journey again. I have to admit that I think I’m afraid to walk that road again and daunted by the emotional, physical, and – primarily – financial toll that will take on our family…on me. Still, I know that you will one day by an amazing big sister. IMG_4383

For now, we will practice finding the balance of independence and obedience, rest and play. For now, our little family waits for many dreams to be directed by as yet unknown future plans. We wait on a job offer. We wait on a buying a house. We wait and we talk and we hope and we pray.

And, we love you.

Love, Your Mama